Trading Faces
by Lil Cosmo
Summary: Rated PG-13 because violence . . . Timmy is in middle school and is constantly being tormented by Francise and his new gang of eighth graders. But someone agrees to trade lives with him.
1. Default Chapter

**AN: My 1st Fairly Odd Parents fic. Um, ok, I'm not exactly what you'd call a 'good' author. Ha, I suck, ok. **

**I don't own Fairly Odd Parents. Well, not yet anyways.**

The tramatized 11 year old seemed to be dragging his feet in slow motion. Tears streamed down his blood stained face. His breath was ragged and his heart ached, not only for the well needed rest but to be mended after the horrific rejection.

He didn't want to be seen like this. This was shame. How embarrassing. He couldn't fight his own battles. He couldn't get a girlfriend. It couldn't get much worse, right?

Oh, but life is all about proving you wrong. As he approached his sanctuary, he immediatly sensed something was wrong. Knots were in his stomach. He rounded the corner to his house. His parents' car was gone.

The 11 year old let out a sigh of relief and disapointment. They never seemed to be home anymore.

On the bright side, he didn't need a babysitter anymore.

Of course, that was only because she got sent to juvi.

The boy pulled the spare key out of the back pocket of his faded black jeans. The key twisted into the lock and the door opened, reveiling the contents of the middle class home.

Out of instinct, the boy yelled, or seemed to whimper, "I'm home."

Usually he would have thrown his bag into his room, but it was gone. Ripped up by those monsters. Then they had ripped him up.

At this point, the boy had stopped crying. But his eyes were still red rimmed and slightly swollen.

Two creatures materialized in front of the boy, their carefree grins vanishing at the sight of the child, replaced by looks of pity and sorrow.

"Timmy, what happened?" The female one asked.

Tears gathered at his eyes again. "I-I went to school today and-and I asked Trixie if-if she w-wanted to go

t-t-to the sc-sc-school dance with me. She looked a-at m-me and laughed. She-she said if she wanted t-to go with me, sh-she would go wi-with me after she fin-finished writing her wi-will because go-going with me would b-be social sui-suicide. Th-then, Franci-francise and-d his new g-gang of eighth gr-graders lo-locked me in a lo-locker all d-d-day. They let m-me out-t-t af-f-f-after school and . . ." He could no longer form the words, so he simply pointed to his battered and bruised body.

Neither of the two knew what to say to calm the troubled child and simply hugged him, then sat in silence for a few moments.

Timmy broke the silence. "They said they'll be waiting for me tomorrow."

The two creatures looked at eachother with worried and angry expressions on their faces.

This time the male spoke. "What are you going to do?"

Timmy was silent for a moment. "I don't know." he admitted.

He got up silently and washed away the blood and chained out of his crimson stained clothes. He looked at himself in the mirror. He was going to have a black eye.

Timmy trudged up the stairs and fell asleep though it was early.

After Timmy was out of ear shot, the two creatures turned to eachother.

"This is the third time he's gotten beaten up in a month." the female said in concern.

"Yeah, but its never been this bad before." The male added.

"Its not right! He shouldn't be afraid to go to school. We're his godparents, for pete's sake! Our job is to make his life better! But as far as I can tell, its getting worse."  
  
"At least Vicky's gone."

"Fine, Cosmo. Think positively." She said angrily. "That's not gonna stop them from hurting him again. Maybe worse next time." she stopped momentarily. "What if they kill him?"  
  
"What? They're not gonna do something crazy like that! They're kids, not cold blooded murderers."  
  
"They seem pretty cold blooded to me."

Cosmo smiled a smile that lacked happiness. "You sound like his mom."

"Well, I might as well be. The woman's never home!" She suddenly realized what she said and felt ashamed. "You know I didn't mean that. I'm just worried about him, that's all. I care about him. I-I love him." Her voice cracked and she started to cry.

"We both love him. But we aren't his real parents."  
  
"Since when are you mister reasonable?"

"Since never. I'm just stating the truth."

She looked at her husband strangely. "I've been married to you nearly 10,000 years now, and you never cease to amaze me."

"What?"

"You. . . Never mind."

The door started opening and the two creatures poofed off into thin air.

The clock read 7:13 AM. Timmy tossed and turned in his troubled sleep, unaware that he was late for school. Cosmo looked at his reflection in the mirror. Only it wasn't his reflection he was looking at. It was Timmy's.

**AN: Well, that was chapter one. Hope y'all liked it. I know it was a little . . . dumb. But, well, there it was. Please review.**


	2. Bus ride

**AN: Ok, a few comments:**

**Crazyfairy, thanks for saying you liked it. And, ok I'll stop saying my writing sucks. It's a bad habit. **

**KwazyKandyPie, thanks for the support.**

**Ok, well this is chapter 2.**

Cosmo looked around the bus nervously. Where was he going to sit? He didn't know anyone. What if he sat next to the wrong person? What would they do to him?

Cosmo smiled to himself. This reminded him of when he went to school. The fear, the bullying, the rejection, and nowhere to sit on the bus.

"Hey Turner!" a faceless voice called out.

Cosmo looked around, hopelessly looking for the source of the call.

The bus driver glared. "Sit down, Turner," He growled.

Cosmo jolted and fell into the first seat as the bus pulled away.

"This spot is saved." The girl he had accidentally sat next stated in a nasally, self-important voice.

"Sorry," he mouthed and moved. He sat next that one kid that Timmy sometimes hung out with, Elmer or whatever.

"Move Timmy. This spot is for my _friends_," Elmer said angrily.

"Aren't we friends?"

"How dumb can a guy be? Of course not! Not since you've come out of the closet."

"Huh?" Cosmo said dumbly. "Tim-I'm not gay!"

"Ha! Tell that to AJ! I heard about spin the bottle. Yeah, I know what you two did in the closet."

Cosmo was confused (which was pretty normal, come to think of it). Was Timmy gay? No, that couldn't be. He liked Trixie. "But I asked Trixie out yesterday. Didn't you hear?"

"That was just to try to convince us that you were straight. That doesn't mean anything. You might be bi-sexual."

"I'M STRAIGHT!" Cosmo shouted. Everyone on the bus stared at him.

"Are you trying to get me kicked off the bus? MOVE!" Elmer shouted.

Cosmo moved. Luckily, they were already pulled up to the middle school. He couldn't take much more of this bus ride.

"Hi Timmy," A hot 8th grader called out to Cosmo.

Cosmo waved half heartedly.

An 8th grade jock muttered to his friends, "I'll take care of this," Then shouted to Cosmo, "Hitting on my girl again Turner?"

"What? No, of course not."

"Think you can get away with this? I don't want some sick gay-wad after my girl. I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll never forget."

"Oh Josh, you're so protective." The girl cooed.

"You and me. After school." Josh growled.

"But hun, you have football practice." The girl said.

"Oh. Well then, tomorrow morning. Be here. If not, well, I know where you live." Josh threatened, his words iced with venom.

Cosmo stood in the same spot for a long time after the jock left.

**AN: There was chapter 2.**


	3. detention

**AN: (Grins) I'm speachless. Y'all rule.**

Cosmo pulled the folded sheet of paper from his pocket. Art. First period. Could Timmy draw?

It occured to Cosmo that though he was Timmy's fairy godfather, he knew almost nothing about him. Like that whole 'gay' issue. It had to be some rumor, right? Timmy was so not gay.

The tardy bell echoed through the hallway. Cosmo searched for the classroom. He became filled with panic. Even if he found the class, what then? He wouldn't know where to sit. Heck, he couldn't even draw.

Cosmo held his breath and opened the first classroom he came to.

The room grew quiet. All eyes turned to Cosmo.

"Look who decided to come," an overweight boy sneered.

"Ooh, baby. Shake that butt." another boy sneered.

"Hey baby, wanna make out?"

The taunts continued. 'God, please let this be the wrong classroom,' Cosmo prayed silently.

A slightly overweight, balding man entered the room. "Turner, take your seat," He nodded to a chair in the back of the room.

Cosmo sighed and took a seat in the first empty desk at the back of the room, last seat, last row. The girl in front of him turned around. "I just wanted to say, I accept your kind." She smiled encouragingly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know," She looked around to make sure no one was paying attention. "Homosexuality."

Cosmo rolled his eyes. "For God's sakes, I'm not gay!"

She looked at him strangely. "You're not?"

"No!"

"But, well, you're, well . . ."

"What? What am I?"

"Well, you're alot cleaner than the other guys at this school. And, well, you seem gay, that's all."

Cosmo fought back a laugh. "So, who are you anyway?"

"Lesli Stylus," She grinned, "AKA 'Lesbo Lesli. And yeah, let me answer your unasked question. I'm not gay."

"I wasn't gonna ask."

"I'm bi sexual."

Had Cosmo been drinking something, he would have spit it all over himself. Fortunatly, he wasn't.

"Got ya!" She laughed. "I'm totally straight. Which means I'm free to hit on you."

"Woop dee doo," Cosmo said sarcastically.

"Your attention please!" The teacher weased.

Cosmo jumped. He had forgotten he was still in class.

"Today we're going to be sketching ourselves."

"Try not to hit on yourself, Turner." A jock called out. The class burst out laughing.

"Don't break the mirror, Kevin!" Lesli shot back. To this, there was no laughter, except for from Cosmo.

"Hey, you two should join 'Homos Annonymous'" Kevin shouted.

"Kevin! That's an afternoon detention for you for talking out of turn. And detention for you too, Turner, for being tardy."

Cosmo walked into the classroom for detention. He remembered when he had gone to school. Back then, he had practically ruled detention.

Of course, back then he hadn't been a wanted man.

Kevin gave Cosmo the death glare. His look said it clearly. 'This is my property. No homos allowed.'

Cosmo suddenly felt myschievious. "Hey Kevin, you aren't homaphobic right?"

"Shut your face, gaywad."

"Oh, you are so cute when you're mad."

"Get away from me!"

Cosmo advanced on him slowly. "I've wanted to tell you for a long time how sexy you are, but I could never find the right words. But now, in this empty classroom, I know how to show you the depth of my love."

Genuine fear shown on Kevin's face, "What do you think you're doing? Get back!"

"Admit it Kevin. You want me even more than I want you."

"You're sicker than I thought!"

"You're saying that, but I know how you really feel."

"I'm gonna punch you,"

Cosmo got right up in his face. The fist connected with his face and he was thrown against a desk and knocked cold.

Kevin grinned wickedly and pulled out the tape recorder. "Now I finally have proof," He laughed to himself.

**AN: Ok, before I end this I want to say I'M NOT A HOMAPHOBE! Noone's said it, but I'm afraid someone might and if they do, its so not true. I'm all for gay marriage and all that. My best friend is gay. Alright, enough with the preaching. The next chapter will have more of a point then this one. I just wanted to add a little humor before the completly dramatic stuff happens.**

**Oh, by the way, Timmy isn't gay. It's just a rumor at school.**

**And Cosmo was just pretending to be gay. He was just acting stupid (He's pretty good at that. And I say that in a good way 'cause he's my fav. character.)**


	4. A wish

**AN: Thanks for all the support, guys. You've been great.**

Cosmo entered the Turner's living room. Surprise, surprise. Mr. and Mrs. Turner were gone.

Cosmo trudged up the stairs and entered Timmy's room. He was bombarded by the real Timmy.

"What the heck did you think you were doing?" Timmy said through clenched teeth.

"Going to school," Cosmo stated the obvious.

"Are you kidding me? If I wanted you to go to school for me, I would have wished for it. God, what were you thinking?"

"Absolutely nothing," Cosmo tried to lighten up the mood.

"That's the truth. Why? Why did you go to school for me? And why are you so late coming back?"

Cosmo looked at Timmy strangely. "Are you gay?" He asked.

"Not you too! No, I am not gay! I know, they say that at school. I have to live with that everyday! Thank the lord for weekends, or I'd never survive," Timmy's eyes suddenly widened. "But that's all in the past now,"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Except for being worried, today may have been the best day of my life. No fighting, no rumors, no classes."

"Yeah?"

"And you could definitely use the education . . ."

"Hello? I can hear every word you're saying."

"How about you live my life! My school life, anyway. Everyday could be just like today!"

"Well, I don't know. . ."

"I wish you would go to school for me!"

Cosmo sighed. "But I don't know anything about your school."

"Well you went today, right? It'll be just like today. Only for 6 more years."

"Six years?"

"Well, yeah. Until 12th grade. You're the greatest!"

Wanda poofed into the room. "Cosmo, you idiot! Where were you day?"

Timmy grinned. "Don't freak out. He was just doing me a favor."

"What kind of favor?"

"Well, he agreed to go to my school for me, and I'll stay here. In fact, he was at my school today."

"Oh. So you wished for him to go to your school today. Why didn't you tell me?"

"'Cause I didn't wish for him to go today. He just went."

Wanda looked at her husband strangely. "Why did you go to Timmy's school?"

Cosmo shrugged. "I dunno. I was bored, I guess."

Wanda smiled to herself. She realized her husband had gone to that school to protect his godson. "So, what was it like?"

Um, it was alright I guess. Like when I was a kid and went to school." Cosmo lied.

Truthfully, it had been one of the most stressful days of his life but he didn't want to tell them that.

**AN: Next chapter will be more exciting. I'm kinda tired today, but I had to add a chapter.**


	5. Guilt trips and Lower Lip Faces

**AN: Yeah, Crazyfairy, I dream about FOP. Sometimes I get my ideas for fics from my dreams (now thats messed up). **

**Okay, y'all, I can't believe the amount of support I'm getting. Ok, enough mushy stuff. Here's what you're actually reading for. Chapter 5.**

Cosmo woke up with a start. He had had a bad dream, but now the details of it were draining away like water in a tub. All he could remember was an eerie laugh and a larger than life fist crashing into his unprotected face.

He gulped. Today was the day that jock Josh was going to murder him.

Cosmo poofed himself to look like Timmy and looked into the mirror in Timmy's room. Over the past year, Timmy had changed slightly. He had grown taller and his buck teeth were gone. His hair was spikier and usually unbrushed. His style had undergone a slight change, too. He still wore his pink hat, but his clothes were definitly baggier and darker. His shirt was black instead of pink, for instance.

Cosmo frowned. Timmy looked a little like Cosmo himself had, when he was younger. How he had hated school, and not just because of the learning. He had been the butt of many jokes, and he couldn't count how many fights he had been in in his senior year.

"Boo," Cosmo jumped when he heard the familiar voice (which he himself would be using once he got to Dimmsdale Middle School).

"God, don't scare me like that! I'm too old! I'll get a heart attack or something." Cosmo exclaimed.

Timmy laughed. "You don't look too old to me. What are you, 11 right?"

"Ha ha. For your information, in human years I'm 27."

"Not anymore," Timmy said simply. "Hey man, I know you probably don't wanna go to my school. But look at the possitives!"

"Which would be. . ."

"Dude, its like you found the Fountain of Youth. You're back to living 'the best years of your life'."

"Yeah, sure. I wouldn't exactly call eleven 'the best years of my life'."

"You know, if you really don't wanna go, I guess I can get dressed and leave the safety of my home to be torchured at that jail they call a school." Timmy gave Cosmo the 'lower lip face'.

"Oh great, guilt trip! No, its fine, I don't mind going," Cosmo lied. "Oh, by the way, that's my look!"

"What?"

"The lower lip face! That's my thing!"

"Ha! Not anymore."

Cosmo faked a pout. "Fine. I'm leaving." He walked out of the room, then came back. "Ok, uh, I forgot to change my voice."

Timmy laughed. "Its like backwards puberty!"

Cosmo quickly made his voice higher and left the eleven year old alone in his room.

**AN: Um, I can't think of any parting words of wisdom except these: see ya.**


	6. fight

**AN: Ok, I'm gonna try to make this chapter longer.**

Cosmo walked to school. He didn't want to be tortured on the bus today.

Josh grinned when he saw Cosmo approaching. "Hey Turner."

His look said 'I know something you don't want anyone else to know, and I'm gonna tell them!'

"Lets get this over with," Cosmo said as he tensed up, prepared to be punched.

"I don't know what you mean! You think I, your friend, wait no, your Bestest friend, would hurt you? This really hurts that you can't trust me." Josh faked a hurt look.

Cosmo may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but believing this crock would be ridiculous. "Yeah. Whatever."

"What? Ok, so we hate eachother. With every fiber of our beings. But we can be friends, right?"

"no."

"Fine then. I guess I'm gonna have to tell the school your secret."

"Secret?"

Josh pulled the tape recorder out of his pants pocket. "You know Kevin, right? Oh, of course you do! You tried to rape him in detention!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Everyone knows what you did. Or at least, they will now!" The tape played the words Cosmo had said in detention.

"Oh my god." Cosmo said quietly.

"So you admit it! You really are a homo! ADMIT IT!"

"I'm not a homo!"

"We just got proof!"

The teenagers surrounded the two.

"I knew it!" Shouted Elmer.

"You know what? We don't want an AIDS spreading girly man going to our school." Josh leered.

"Yeah!" The kids chanted.

"But I don't have AIDS! And I'm not gay!" Cosmo wailed, desperate for someone to believe him. God, where were the teachers in this school?

"You're gonna give us all some crazy STD." Some random girl yelled out.

"I say we teach this woman a lesson." Josh yelled.

"Die homo, die. Die homo, die. Die homo, die!" The crowd chanted eerily.

Cosmo attempted to run away, but the crowd was coming in closer by the minute. Josh grabbed the back of his shirt and lifted him into the air. "You've had this coming, freak." He sneered.

Josh threw the defenseless Cosmo onto the concrete ground. He kicked him continuously in the stomach and head. Blood spilled from his nose and flesh. Other kids joined in the fight and beat him with fists, school books, and shoes. Kids in the crowd threw stones.

"Break it up!" The principal shouted over the roar of the crowd.

People ran in every direction. The principal grabbed the only two who didn't escape. Cosmo and Josh.

"You two." She growled.

"I swear, ma'am. It was Turner's fault. He jumped me. I tried to stop him. He was just mad because I'm straight and I turned him down to go to the football game." Josh pleaded.

"That's enough. You think I don't know anything? I've heard countless rumors of how you torment your peers, Josh." The principal turned to Cosmo. "But you must have had something to do with this too. Both of you will be suspended for the rest of the week."

"But I didn't do anything!" Cosmo wailed.

"No buts. Now go wash your face, Turner. Not another word. I'm calling your parents."

The principal walked away. When the sound of her heals diminished, Josh turned to Cosmo. "Come on."

He dragged Cosmo into the bathroom and pulled out a pocket knife. He shoved the blade under Cosmo's throat. "I've had enough of you, Turner. One more mistake, and." Josh grinned as he drew his finger under his own neck.

**AN: Well, I tried to make it longer. What did y'all think? Gotta run. Bye.**


	7. magical mirror with pimped out sound eff...

**AN: Nothing intelligent to say.**

The blood wouldn't stop coming out of Cosmo's nose. He was starting to freak out.

"Hey you," A feminine voice called out to him.

"You're not supposed to be in here!" Cosmo screeched. "This is the boy's bathroom."

"Yeah, so? What are you doing in here?" Leslie asked.

Co glared at her.

"Hey, I was just kidding. So I heard you got into a fight."

"Yeah, so? What's the big deal?"

"Turner, Turner, Turner, what am I gonna do with you?" Leslie joked. "How much trouble are you in?"

"Week's suspension."

"You got off easy. I think Ms. Cubit likes you."

"Who?"

"The big butt principal."

"Oh."

"Well, see ya next week. I'm outta here."

"Where are you going?"

"Ha! You think I'm gonna waste my time in school? You have so much to learn, Timmy. Later." Leslie left Cosmo alone in the bathroom to clean up his own blood.

Ms. Cubit entered the bathroom momentarily. "Your parents are on their way."

"Yeah? So what?"

Her face turned a dark purple color. "Don't take that tone with me, young man."

"Tone?"

"Don't mock me! That's it. Not only are you suspended for a week, you have two weeks detention when you come back!"

"That's not fair!"

"You just made it three."

"But. . ."

"Do you want four?"

"No."

"That's no ma'am to you, young man."

"No, man. Um, I mean ma'am." He put the emphasize on 'man'.

"One of these days, Turner. One of these days. . ." The large behinded lady left the boys bathroom.

Meanwhile, at Timmy's house . . .

"God, I'm freakin' out here!" the eleven year old paced around the room.

"Why?" His pink haired fairy godparent asked in concern.

"I gotta know what Cosmo's doing."

"I'm sure he's just . . ."

"What if he ruins my rep. even more? Oh my God. What if he goes insane and turns into a suicide bomber, and during math class, he explodes, taking out 36 kids? I can't have that kind of guilt on my conscience! I wish I knew what he was doing."

Wanda immediately created a magical mirror that would show Timmy exactly what Cosmo was doing.

The mirror also had a kick-butt sound system. The eleven year old saw his godfather with blood spilling from his nose.

"What the heck happened to him?" The pink hated boy immediately hit panic mode. "I think he busted his nose or something! Is that amount of blood normal? Oh my God."

Wanda gasped. "Who would do something like that?"

"The eighth graders," The godson said simply.

**AN: Okay, another completely pointless chapter completed.**

**On the nest episode of Trading Faces:**

**A week of complete randomness**

**A trip to the doctor's office**

**A yearbook**

**And a new security Guard.**

**You don't want to miss it (or do you?)**


	8. random chapter

**AN: I promised randomness and I never go back on my word**

**Cosmo: She's totally lying. Don't believe her.**

**Me: Seriously, though, this fic is turning out more random than I thought it would.**

**Cosmo: What's wrong with random, though?**

"You got suspended?" Wanda and Timmy said simultaneously.

"Yeah? So what?" Cosmo seemed completely uncaring. His nose hurt! He didn't want to be bothered by stupid comments that stated the obvious.

"My reputation is lower than low! I swear, if it was on the ground, it would be flat," Timmy moaned.

"Why do you care? Its not like you have to live with it," Cosmo said coldly.

"God, Cosmo. You've been in that school for two days. How can anyone get into so much trouble in such a short amount of time?" Wanda asked.

He shrugged.

"Who'd ya get in a fight with?" The eleven year old asked.

"That jock, Josh," Cosmo grinned. "That almost rhymed! Yay!"

"Focus!" Timmy ordered.

"Whatever." Cosmo said as the phone rang.

Timmy picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

"Turner, you loser! How long are you locked up?" An unfamiliar, feminine voice asked.

"Um, hold on a second." Timmy turned to his godfather. "There's a girl on the phone!" he shrieked.

Again, Cosmo shrugged.

"Think carefully. Have you talked to anyone at my school?"

"Well, there was Elmer on the bus. He called me gay, well actually, he called you gay, but I was disguised as you so he really called me gay," Cosmo rambled. "Then there was some eighth grade cheerleader chick. Josh's girlfriend. Then there was Josh. He told me to stop flirting with his girl. Then she called him protective. Then I went into art and someone called me a homo . . ."

"I mean, did anyone talk to you civilly."

"Well, yeah. This girl, Leslie."

"LESBO LESLIE IS CALLING ME?!?!?!?" Timmy shouted.

"Yeah, probably."

"You talk to the freak!" Timmy handed the phone over. In a millisecond, Cosmo changed his voice into Timmy's.

"Yo, Leslie. What's shakin'. Sorry I had to put you on hold like that. My dad has going crazy."

Leslie didn't laugh. "Why did you call me a lesbo?"

"Huh?"

"Oh, I heard you. That was a pathetic excuse at trying to cover the phone up. I heard you talking to some guy. I bet you are gay. He's probably your gay lover, right? You make me sick, acting like my friend, and then talking about me behind my back."

"But I didn't . . ."

"Don't deny it! I have ears." She hung up.

Cosmo shrugged again, trying to look like he didn't care even though he felt awful for hurting Leslie's feelings. He knew more than anyone how it felt to think you had friends, only to have them spread vicious rumors about you behind your back.

The week dragged by. Nothing truly remarkable happened, except complete randomness that would be completely pointless to tell.

Monday came, and Cosmo went to Timmy's school.

He noticed someone at the front of the school. From a distance, he just thought it was another teacher. But as he approached, he realized with horror who it was.

The black haired man was wearing a security guard uniform. He glared at all that past him.

An evil grin crossed his face when he saw Cosmo. "Well well well, Turner. Long time no see." Mr. Crocker said evilly.

AN: Um, my apologies humans and humanoids. I lied in the 'coming up' thing on the last chapter. The doctor's office and yearbook weren't in this chapter. Sorry mucho.

Forgive me, por favor (Tee hee. I'm taking Spanish class. Spanish is fun.)


	9. give me your backpack

**AN: Love y'all. here's chapter 9.**

"Give me your backpack," Mr. Crocker stuck his white, bony hand out and smirked.

Cosmo shrugged off the backpack and handed it over. A crowd of preteens surrounded the two, waiting to see what was contained in the backpack.

"I bet he has pictures of naked men in there," A 7th grade whispered loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Oh Jeff, you're so funny," a 6th grader giggled.

Crocker turned the backpack upside down. Papers, pencils, and other school items fell out, along with . . .

"Ah ha! What have we here?" Mr. Crocker held up the wand.

"It was part of my Halloween costume," Cosmo lied simply.

"Oh, and you just happen to be carrying it around in the middle of Febuary?"

"Hey, Halloween's just eight short months away!"

"Of course it is, Turner. Of course, this isn't school appropriate. I'll have to have it confiscated."

"What?!?!" Cosmo shreaked angrily. "That's so not fair!"

"And you, of course, will have to come to my new office for, er, interagation."

"Intera what?"

"Questioning."

"For a toy wand?"

"Ah ha! You admit it is a wand!"

Cosmo rolled his eyes. "Anyone with eyes could see that."

"Come with me!'' Crocker grabbed Cosmo around the wrist, firm enough for him not to escape, but not as firm as to qualify as child abuse. He led the 'boy' to a dark room which was simply furnished with all of Crocker's fairy tracking devises and two chairs, one of which had arm restraints.

Hold up. Arm restraints?

"Have a seat, Turner," Crocker gestured to the chair. Cosmo sat reluctantly and Crocker pounced, locking the restraints around Cosmo's wrists.

"Hey!" He screamed.

"No use shouting. The room's sound proof. Seems that the school district didn't want to hear the sounds of shouting juvenile deliquents." He smirked. "This is a much better job than my last one. I bet you're wondering why I'm here, right?"

"Not really."

Crocker ignored him. "I was fired from Dimmsdale Elementary. Then, after your little spat with that jock, the district decided that they needed a new security guard. I was hired due to my good looks mostly. BUt I'm also a master of the martial arts!" Crocker began a lousy immitation of a Jackie Chan movie.

"Oh wow, interesting. Can I go now?"

"Shhhh! I'm not finished here, Timmy Turner. If that's really your name, which I know it's not. I know who you are, or should I say what you are! You are his FAIRY GOD PARENT!"

**AN: Oh no! What's going to happen to Cosmo? Will he be torchured with who knows what? Will Timmy be able to rescue him? I ain't telling you. You're gonna have to read chapter ten to find out!  
**


	10. Timmy Turner doesn't have green eyes!

Timmy paced the room.

"What's wrong, Timmy?" Wanda asked in concern.

"Oh, nothing. Oh alright, I'll tell you. You know how you have the 'Timmy's in danger' senses and the 'Cosmo's in danger' senses?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I think they're rubbing off on me."

"Didn't you always know when you were in danger?"

"I mean the 'Cosmo's in danger' sense."

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, because, I think something bad is happening but I don't know what. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but something doesn't feel right in the air. Do you think I'm crazy?"

She looked worried. "No, you're not crazy. It feels like that to me, too."

"Maybe we should go to my school and check on him. We can turn invisible or something."

"But what if there's nothing wrong?"

"Oh. Well, then we go home and see a counselor for our paranoia."

Timmy and Wanda turned invisible and poofed to Dimmsdale Middle School.

Meanwhile, Cosmo was struggling against his restraints. "You're insane! Of course I'm Timmy Turner!"

"No you aren't."

"How would you know?"

"Let's look at the proof, shall we? First, you had a wand in your backpack."

"I bet loads of kids do!"

"Second, these restraints can only hold someone with magical powers."

"Maybe it doesn't work right."

"Third, Timmy Turner doesn't have green eyes." Crocker grinned wickedly in a self satisfied way.


	11. Swirlies

It was strange walking down the corridors of the school without being noticed, Timmy realized. Had he not been so worried, he may have tried to prank others. As it was, he was too preoccupied.

Wanda floated next to him, glancing at him every few seconds in worry.

"Alright," He whispered. "Where do you think he is?"

"In class," She suggested.

"Alright. Its second period, which means I have, um," He had to think for a moment, "English."

The two checked through the window of the English classroom. They glanced at the faces of the bored, half asleep children. No Cosmo.

"Maybe he's in the bathroom," she whispered.

The two went to open the boys' bathroom door when Timmy stopped his godmother. "You can't go in there!"

"Why not?"

"This is the boys' bathroom."

She rolled her eyes. "For god's sakes! No one's gonna know!"

"I'll know."

"Yeah? And?"

"I don't want to have nightmares about girls in the men's' room."

"Fine," She shook her head to herself and laughed softly.

Timmy burst through the door. The only person in there was Kevin at the urinal. The jock quickly zipped up his zipper and turned to the door. He saw no one.

"Who's there?" He stammered.

Timmy suddenly had a great idea. He cleared his throat and attempted to make it sound lower. "Ooooooooooh! Kevin!!!!!" he said eerily.

"What do you want?" He squeaked. "Who are you?"

"I'm the ghost of this bathrooooooooooooooooooom," Timmy moaned. "I've been watching you for a while."

"You watched me wiz?"

"Nooooooooooooo. At school. I've seen all the evil you've done to Timmy Turner."

"What do you mean?"

"You will pay!" Timmy grabbed the jock and shoved his overly large head into the nearest toilet and flushed.

"NO!" he screamed.

Timmy left the men's room, laughing quietly. He momentarily forgot about Cosmo.

'Oh crud!' he thought.

"He wasn't in there!" He whispered in panic to Wanda.

The bell rang, signaling the end of classes. A stampede of human bodies exited every door. In fear, the two tried to open the first door they came upon.

"I wish it was unlocked!" Timmy yelled over the noise of students. The door clicked open and the two entered.

"Who's there?" Crocker's voice turned to the door.

**AN: Okay, just so you know. I changed the genre of this story to humor (I thought it was gonna be 'angsty' before I wrote it, but it's turning out funny with all the gay jokes, etc.)**


	12. electricity

**AN: I'm continuing! Did you think I died? Because I'm still alive, baby!**

Crocker blindly felt around, trying to find the invisible boy. Timmy stayed inches out of his ex teacher's grip. With Crocker so near, Timmy couldn't risk making any wishes.

Cosmo nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt an unseen hand grab his hand through the restraints. "It's me," Wanda whispered. "Don't worry, we'll get you out of this thing."

She aimed her wand at the arm cuffs and zapped them. Nothing happened, except alerting Crocker that someone was near the chair.

"Get away from that!" He screeched and grabbed a strange devise off the floor. It looked like a flyswatter, but with an electric charge. He whacked at the air until he came in contact with the fairy.

The electrical charge jolted her out of invisibility. Her arm had a deep burn mark on it.

"Hey, this thing works!" Crocker stared in amazement at the floating woman. "Now listen you, I'm now your ruler. You obey me, get it? Don't deny that you're magic because I went to college!"

"You never were very bright," Wanda insulted him.

"SHUT UP, YOU!" he attempted to smack her again, but she was smart enough to dodge the device.

Crocker was suddenly hit with a wickedly evil plan. If the device worked on her, then it would surely work on Turner, proving he was indeed not the real Timmy Turner.

Or it could just fry his brains out. Either way, he won.

Crocker whacked him across the face. The smell of burning flesh stung his nostrils. He watched as Timmy changed from brown haired human to green haired fairy.

"I KNEW IT ALL ALONG! YOU'RE NOT TURNER! YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN! I'M GONNA BE RICH!" He danced around like an idiot at the thought.

Cosmo tugged at the restraints. No use, he was stuck. He had to rely on his head to survive.

So he was basically as good as dead.

**AN: Too short, I know, but I wanted to leave you guessing as to how this is going to end. Will Cosmo be smart enough to defeat Crocker? Will Crocker find Timmy? What about Wanda? What'll she do? Stay tuned!**


	13. Trapped!

**AN: Whoa, I'm back to my original fic . . . this is kinda awkward. So, uh, sorry it's been so long and, er, here it be!**

'Why didn't I take that course on using magic without a wand?' Cosmo thought, angry at himself. Of course, he knew why he hadn't. First off, it had been a summer course and Cosmo had NOT wanted to go to school when he didn't have to. And secondly, it was an advanced course, admission at the teacher's choice. He could barely do magic with a wand, how could he using his mind?

Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that things had been getting serious with Wanda at the time. No, not serious like THAT (you perverts!).

The point was, he couldn't do anything without his wand. Two words could describe his situation:

Royally screwed.

'I forgot what a jerk this Crocker guy was.' The truth was, he barely remember Crocker as his god kid. It bothered him that such a chuck of his life could just disappear. Stupidity was one thing, but losing his memory was freaky. He wasn't that old.

Wanda floated a few feet away, totally visible and in acute pain. God, her arm stung. The stench of burnt flesh nauseated her. She couldn't escape it, as it was her own skin charred.

Here was an example of the downfall of being the smart one. She could read, quite clearly, the pleading look of desperation on her husband's face. She knew it was her job to find the way out of this. But she had nothing. Her mind ran away from right when she most needed it.

'crapcrapcrapcrapcrap,' She thought repeatedly. Her husband was screwed. Her god kid was screwed. She was screwed, and for all she knew all of Fairy World was screwed.

They'd lose there licenses over this.

'So what? We might die! That's a little more important than god parenting!'

Speaking of god parenting, where was Timmy? She hoped he'd at least gotten out of the room, though that wasn't much to hope for. His being invisible was the real trap, because she couldn't make him visible until he wished for it. If he had escaped, he'd been imperceptible for life. What kind of life was that?

'He's fine,' she reasoned, though her thoughts were now border line hysterical. She couldn't handle this!

Maybe Crocker couldn't handle this either.

Maybe, if he remembered them, he'd be unable to harm them. It wasn't much to hope for, after all, she barely remembered him. But if, and this was a big _if,_ he could remember just a bit of his childhood, if he could remember how close they'd been (she assumed they'd been pretty close), maybe he'd set them free.

It was worth a shot.

Crocker continued to wield the swatter devise.

Wanda tried to dig into her memory banks. Okay . . . he was ten years old . . . they were hippies still . . . he was the god kid they had right after Bill Gates and right before future porn star Jakob Bailey (and he was such a sweet, wholesome child at the time). Alright, Crocker's mom had just gotten divorced and left him with a babysitter all the time. But she already knew all this stuff! Where was the important stuff?

No, wait. His dad had left when Crocker was a baby. His parents were never married!

Wanda doubted reminding her ex god child this would make him pity them.

Something felt wrong. Wanda stared at Crocker. She noticed something off about him. The way he was staring at her, completely openly, wasn't the look of glee at the fact that he'd just captured a fairy, his life's goal.

'Oh my God!' Wanda thought. This forty year old freak was hot for her!

**AN: Uh oh! Now what's gonna happen? Stay tuned!**


End file.
